Hi there. My name's Christine, I am 36 and I am angry. I have been angry for several years. In 1994 I met a really nice guy. We dated for about a year and married in 1995. We had a good life, good jobs, nice house, great kids. One day in 2000, a friend of his invited us to a revival that her church was holding. We had always been Christians but had not attended church. The revival was interesting to say the least and it felt good to worship the Lord in such a setting.
Then I noticed my husband of 5 years had begun changing. He started listening only to Christian radio stations and only watching evangelists on TV. He was making comments to me that insinuated that, unlike him, I was headed in the "wrong path" and needed to change my ways. Funny, I wasn't doing anything different than I had been doing for the last 5 years. Then the comments became even more condemning like "I want to make sure that you go to heaven with me". The clincher came in the summer of 2002. We were talking and I told him "I love you more than anything." His response, without missing a beat was " and I love God more than anything." That was the day that I knew our marriage was over. He found God and forgot that he had a family.
I spent the next 3 years trying to make him understand that I was hurting and lonely and that our marriage had some serious problems. As usual, he ignored me and turned on Joyce Meyer or told me what John Hagee had to say that day.
By the summer of 2005, I had had enough. In August of that year, I told him I wanted a divorce. Still, I was ignored. I moved out that November. In June I filed for divorce which was final in October. My now ex-husband continued to preach to me and tell me how I was going to hell because I was not as holy as he was. In October 2006, I married again to someone who loved me just as I am, what an unusual feeling.
Keep in mind that I my faith in God and Jesus has never wavered, not for a second.
However, I am angry at organized religion. I refuse to ever set foot in a church again. I will worship the Lord in my own way. but I do not like this deep ager I feel. It is not like me. It affects me everyday. I don't think it is anything that I will ever get over.
